What do I do next?

What Do I Do Next?

So yes I have gone through these trials and my faith and hope have risen because of this. But now I don't know where to go from here. All of my labs have come back inconclusive. Should we keep on trying or should we wait and try and heal. Jason is still looking for a job in web development. We have done everything to find a job, we have networked filled out application after application. What do we do next? 

There are so many unknowns in life. So I have to ask myself what I do know. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who is watching over me and my family. I have a husband who works so hard every day and is writing 80 blogs a week right now to support his family. I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge. I have my little bundle of joy who loves unrolling my toilet paper, getting all of his toys out and then deciding that he does not want to play with any of them. I have my little miracle Jameson. Lastly, I have my whole family who is so supportive of Jason and I. 

My little brother Chris showed me this song. It is by a rock band called disturbed but this one line stood out to me "sometimes the darkness can show you the light".  What a beautiful thought and insight. It is when we are in our darkest moments in life that we find some of the brightest moments. I was visited by my relief society president after she found out about my miscarriage. She then took me out to buy my husband a Christmas present and just to talk and have hot chocolate. There is my light in my darkness.

So yes there are so many unknowns. I don't know what to do about my miscarriages or finding a job for my husband. But there are so many thinks I do know. I know my life is supposed to be like this right now and if I endure to the end and learn to have joy in my sufferings, everything will work out.