So Tired of Being Strong

So Tired of Being Strong

I am sitting here on the floor of my living room literally in tears. My son is asleep in bed, or should be at least, and my husband is with the rest of my family watching a BYU game. I am sitting here thinking about how tired I am. I am tired physically, mentally, and spiritually. Most of all I am so tired of trying to be strong. How are people strong through miscarriages? How do people do it, because I am not succeeding.

People have been so amazing to me and my family. My relief society president bought Jason new interview shoes and me some much needed snow boots. The 2nd counselor in our bishop rick came and got Jason to buy new shirts and ties for him to interview in. There are moments when I am so happy but then I feel like I sink back into this void that I can't get rid of. I have so much that I am grateful for. How can I feel like that always.

I feel like I am letting my family, my husband, and my friends  down if I am not strong.  Most of all I feel like I am letting my Heavenly Father down because I don't feel like I have the faith to get through this trial. I am trying so hard but am still failing.